Things I've Spotted Running the Septa Bus Route in Ardmore

1. A dead squirrel which for whatever reason terrified me
2. A little girl throwing an orange peel at me
3. A guy punch dancing out his rage, aka bobbing and weaving and punching the air
4. A very, very sullen teenager listening to his headphones, hoodie up, twitching
5. A guy and his daughter who looked EXACTLY like Dora the Explorer
6. Several cute dogs
7. One DILF
8. A bird that had been there so long it was disintegrating

 Always a pleasure, Ardmore.

DEAR SUN

CALM THE FUCK DOWN. IT IS APRIL.


Best,
Carrie

Well, this is the most fucked up thing ever.

So not to get all up in everybody's face about anything, but that Mississippi lesbian prom story is ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS. First they wouldn't let her go, then they were going to let her go, and THEN they threw her a fake prom and gave the REAL kids their own prom? Because obviously all of the other teens were in danger of catching the gay. Like, that could NOT have been handled worse and I have no idea how anyone thinks it's okay to treat another person that way. And they were ADULTS who staged this whole thing and made the prom an entirely humiliating experience for a young girl. At least in Carrie, it was her peers who were the assholes. Anyway, Gawker had a great article on it that I loved, so take a look.  In the mean time, I'll be gathering some pig's blood to take to Mississippi. There are some PTA members I need to find.

Best. Weekend. EVer.

So, it was my birthday. And apparently when people though of what I would like, this is what they thought of. AND THEY ARE SO VERY RIGHT.

1. Party Whistle

2. Bacon Scented Candle

3. Box of frozen Costco chicken bakes

4. Business cards that say "Carrie Cameron: Serious about fun."

5. Owl decor (I LOVE OWLS)

6. "Jersey Girl" shot glass, purchased at a NJ turnpike gas station

7. Chocolate mustaches/mug that says "mustache rides: 5 cents"

I had the most amazing weekend ever ever ever. Thank you to everybunny for coming out and drinking some beers and having massive amounts of fun with me. I am a lucky, lucky girl.

And We'll All Float On Okay.

A lot of bad things have been happening to a lot of people I love lately. And work has been especially stressful for me and I am a ball of nerves A WEEK BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY and that is just not acceptable. I don't know when it will get better, but I can say with great certainty that this, too, will pass. Anyway, all of this prattling is just getting at (DRUMROLL) another list of Carrie's favorite things !!! HOOOORAYYYYY I CAN FEEL YOUR EXCITEMENT!

Music:

Broken Bells. The entire self-titled album but especially Vaporize, The Ghost Inside, The High Road, and Citizen. Download it now.

Florence + The Machine (STILL!) I keep urging everyone to listen because I can't get enough of it. Current favorite is the song Howl. Also, it may be the first concert I attend solo, eek!

Technological Ish:

IF YOU HAVE AN IPHONE I'm going to need you to go ahead and download "Words with Friends" and play me. My user name is carriecam. It is scrabulous for your iphone and currently the only person who has beaten me is Melissa. So, wanna dance? BRING IT.

IF YOU HAVE TWITTER or subscribe to feeds:

whitegrlprobems. Enjoy.

Internet Hilarity:

Okay, first of all - if you haven't seen between two ferns, watch them all. The best ones, in my opinion, are Bradley Cooper and Jon Hamm. However, the new one is pretty fantastic - Ben Stiller, "star of Duplex". Enjoy:

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Ben Stiller from Between Two Ferns

Secondly - The Weird Al True Hollywood Story....Just...I love it more every time I watch it.

"Weird: The Al Yankovic Story" from Aaron Paul

...Did those embed? GOOD. Anyway, embedding is hard and there's too much copying and pasting so I'm going to suggest two hulu videos for your googling pleasure - they are both SNL monologues and I love them both. The first is Jon Hamm.. mostly for the line "They need to wash they ass." Also, because I want to be Carrie Hamm. Secondly - Zach Galifinakis. Everything he does is funny. GOOGLE THAT SHIT.

TV Shows:

Party Down

-Season 1 is on netflix and if you have netflix, watch it. It is wonderful and well acted and has Lizzie Caplan in it who I love and it's hilarious and I LOVE IT.

Miscellaneous:

PUPPIES, all of them. My bracket not really sucking THAT much more than anyone else's, my birthday coming up, spring, this weather, window open sleeping, chipotle, booze of all kinds, my bed, sweatpants, chick fil a, and the fact that Hot Tub Time Machine is a real movie.

Let's Get Political, Political

First thing's first - that was clearly to the tune of "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John and if you didn't recognize that, get off my blog.

Moving on...

Okay, I get that this healthcare thing is a big deal. This is going to affect everyone for better or worse and I can't say that there a tremendous amount of things that have happened in my life time that I've truly been able to say that about. But at the same time, maybe it's not quite time to panic or rejoice yet? So much remains to be seen and while in theory we can say that it will be this or it will be that, we have no idea. There are few things I hate more than people just leaping to absolute conclusions about anything when there's so much that remains to be seen. I am neither VERY EXCITED or VERY NEGATIVE about this - I think healthcare should not be a luxury but I also think that we need to figure out how exactly we're paying for this when medicare is totally bankrupt. Also, when they tried to mandate healthcare in MA it cost a zillion more dollars than they thought. So, there's that. But REALLY guys, we don't know. You can't compare socialized healthcare here to Canada or Europe because it's just not apples to apples. What you can do? Just wait and see how it's going to turn out.

And on a related note to everyone on the entire fucking internet: KEEP YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS OFF MY GODDAMN NEWSFEED. You are not changing anyone's opinion, you are just making yourself look like a jackass. And irritating me. So quit it.

Okay, the end. I promise more posts about ridiculous drunken times/internet memes in the future as a reward for slogging through my rants. xoxo.

what's that bracket?

Well, it's that time of year again. To be fair, I got into college basketball when I was in college as an excuse to day drink for all of March. But since then, it has become something I legitimately enjoy watching and I take basically every opportunity to make a bracket that I can. I would also like to take this time to note that none of my brackets have ever won and that inviting me into your pool is the equivalent of asking "hey can I just have that ten dollars?" AND I WILL ALWAYS SAY YES.

On another note, another reason I love March Madness so much is because of my alma mater's final four run in 2006. It was the most awesome thing just EVER to turn on ESPN any given day and see the Patriot Center or see Lamar Butler on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Also, I was interviewed by four separate news stations across the country. FOUR. One time at 5 am when I had been drinking grey goose and cranberries (classy!) for three hours out of a nalgene whilst camping out for tickets to Indianapolis for the Final Four. I was beat red and wearing a wife beater, baseball hat, and sweatpants. And they still put me on the news. I hope that producer got fired. It's true, being a student of a Cinderella school has its perks, but it also has its negatives too. So for all you Cinderellas out there hoping to break my bracket (I'm looking at you, Muarry State), here are a few tips for when the local news comes a'callin, and how to enjoy the ride.

1. Pray you have a famous alumni worth mentioning.
In every single article written about Mason in 2006, no famous alumni were mentioned. And why is that? We have one notable alumni: Karl Rove.

2. If your University president is a troll, have someone else get in the pictures with the team.
We have the single most unattractive University President EVER to be committed to print photography. Yeah. Sleep easy tonight, guys. Also fun sidenote: I literally pulled him out of the mens room at the UConn game in 2006 to take a picture with me.

3. Get ready for the same three facts about your school to be repeated and often mutated in the press.
George Mason was a Virginia Statesmen. GMU is located in Fairfax, VA. It is the largest state school in Virginia. Yeah, newspapers. That was all well and good. But dig a little deeper. Did you know George Mason had gout? You sure didn't, because the Wichita Times didn't feel like doing their homework.

4. Getting as drunk as you can at every possible event will not preclude you from being on the news.
See above.

5. Be prepared for every Joe Jackass on the planet to come up to you and say "YOU TOTALLY RUINED MY BRACKET" for the next 11 months.
No sir, I didn't. I watched the games and cheered. Call Coach L for that ten dollars back.

6. The fans of the schools you are upsetting will be ASSHOLES.
But nothing feels better than rubbing it in their faces - my personal favorite was our "WHERE'S MY LAPTOP?!" cheer for UConn. Second was BILLY PACKER. Get drunk, yell, and really rub salt in their wounds. 4 years later and I still feel superior to every UConn fan I see.

7. Parlay the sudden interest in your school for free drinks at every major tournament.
I didn't pay for a thing at The Final Four. It was also my birthday, I was also turning 22, and I am blonde and little - but I choose to believe that it was everyone's general love for the scrappy little guy who tried their best that got me those miller lites that caused me to vomit under the table after we had lost to Florida.

8. Shirk ALL responsibilities to go to all the events you can.
Hands down, that was one of the best experiences of my life. You can retake a class but you cannot relieve an #11 seed victory over a #1 seed team. Also, if you go to any school other than possibly Cornell, your teachers will totally understand. Again, if you're a 22 year old blonde girl, it helps.

Enjoy it, college students. I'll be celebrating this wonderful month by again drinking like I am one of you.

dressing room etiquette

So, trying on dresses is a horrible experience for me to begin with. I'm incredibly picky about clothes and have very specific tastes. I don't appreciate or really trust anyone's opinion outside my mothers. Otherwise, unless I ask you - leave me alone.

This brings us to me in Black&White last night. I love this store, love the clothes, and know my size, what fits, what cuts look good on me, etc. So I mostly don't need your help. IF you want to hang my clothes on a dressing room door, fine, but our relationship ends there. I did not need a middle aged sales lady disagreeing with me when I said I can't wear strapless dresses. DO YOU THINK I DON'T LIKE STRAPLESS DRESSES, lady? Of course I do. They're adorable. But I tend to look like a total porn star in them and that really isn't the look I'm going for when attending a wedding at the Omni. I mean sure, I CAN wear them. They physically won't burst into flames when they touch my body, so you were correct there. But I also CAN wear cowboy boots and rebel flag bikinis but you don't see me doing that, do you? Okay. Let's move on.

Beyond the strapless dress she shoved down my throat, she also had the charming habit of asking me if I was okay in the dressing room. What could POSSIBLY be wrong in the dressing room that I would need your assitance with? NO I'M NOT OKAY HOW DO I UNZIP THIS ZIPPER? No. I'm almost 26. I have a solid 23 years of experience putting on and taking pants off. I'VE GOT THIS, LADY.

AND when I finally came out of dressing room, she emphatically told me that the kind of bra I was wearing was wrong for the dress. Reallly?? I shouldn't be wearing a white racer back bra with a black halter backless cocktail dress? WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?


Needless to say, I did not come home with a dress.

cameron's work out plan

SO, I would like to thank my seven (?) readers because you guys inspired me to go to the gym. I promised to send an e-mail or do a post with good music to run to. So at the nail salon today (priorities!), I was thinking of the random songs I like to run to and listen to when slaving away in my own personal hell, the gym. While doing so, I managed to talk myself out of the gym and into chipotle because I DESERVE IT. I thought when I got home I could read some Jen Lancaster and update my bloggy with workout songs. And THEN I started to feel guilty - why am I advising other people what to listen to while running when I run like once a week? So, thank you for making me feel like a hypocrite and forcing me to get my ass in gear. A special thanks also goes out to the gorgeous man who got onto the elliptical next to me, because you encouraged me to go an extra ten minutes. You know, to impress you. Because you clearly got on the open machine next to the sweating, red faced girl in spandex because you were trying to make a move.

ANYWAY, workout songs. Some with justification because they're ridic and handily divided into genres.

Cheesy yet awesome pop:

(Spoiler alert! Tons of Gaga and Britney ahead.)

Britney - 3

Britney - I'm A Slave 4 U

Britney/Madonna - Me Against The Music

Britney - Lace and Leather

Britney - Circus

Britney - Womanizer

Britney - If U Seek Amy

Miley Cyrus - Party In The USA

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things

Justin Timberlake - Sexyback

Justin Timberlake - Lovestoned

Taylor Swift - Forever & Always

The Veronicas - Untouched

Katy Perry - Waking Up In Vegas

Lady Gaga - Teeth

Laday Gaga - Bad Romance

Lady Gaga - Poker Face

Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce - Telephone

Lady Gaga - Monster

Lady Gaga - Dance In The Dark

Fergie - Fergalicious

Christina Aguilera - Dirrty

Eric Prydz - Call On Me

Kesha (I REFUSE TO SPELL HER NAME WITH A $) - Tik Tok

Rap/HipHop (hiphopopotamus?)

Kanye - New Workout Plan

Kanye - Stronger

Kanye - Jesus Walks

Kanye - Gold Digger

Kanye - Love Lockdown

Estelle/Kanye - American Boy

Twista/Kanye - Overnight Celebrity

Ludacris - Southern Hospitality

Ludacris - What's Your Fantasy

Ludacris - You's a Ho

Ludacris - Phat Rabbit

Outkast - Bombs Over Baghdad (Straight up the best song to run to, ever.)

Jay-Z/DJ Dangermouse (the grey album - all my Jay-Z is from this) - Change Clothes

Jay-Z - 99 Problems

Jay-Z - Empire State of Mind (I want to hate this song because of the goddamn yankees but I can't.)

Clipse - When's The Last Time

Clipse - Grindin

Jay-Z - Encore

Dr. Dre/Snoop - The Next Episode (the only song I can truly rap from start to finish)

Biggie - Party and Bullshit

Indie-ish whatchamacallit

The Faint - Worked Up So Sexual

The Faint - Southern Bells In London

Passion Pit - Better Things

Passion Pit - Sleepyhead

Passion Pit - Moth's Wings

Hot Chip - Ready For The Floor

Phoenix - 1901

Ra Ra Riot - Manner To Act

Ra Ra Riot - St. Peter's Day Festival

Florence + The Machine - Howl

Florence + The Machine - Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)

Florence + The Machine - Kiss With A Fist

Florence + The Machine - Hurricane Drunk

Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria

Coheed & Cambria - Everything Evil

Coheed & Cambria - Devil In Jersey City

Metric - Hustle Rose

Q and Not U - Soft Pyramids

Ra Ra Riot - Too Too Fast

Wolfmother - Vagabond

shameless self promotion.

Okay, first thing to get out of the way: RIP Corey Haim. You have a special place in the friendship of Chelsea and me, and Lucas is one of my all time favorite movies. Also, now we can never really go as the Corey's for halloween without it being super sad.

NOW, onto other matters -

My birthday is April 3rd. A Joan Holloway barbie doll is coming out shortly. Anyone who has met met knows there are two women I love more than life, and they are Joan Holloway and Barbie.

PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

pick me ups.

So, real talk: we're adults now. And it sort of sucks. I mean sure, I can (and TOTALLY DID) eat ice cream for dinner, stay up AS LATE AS I WANT, and generally do what I want. And that rules. But our lives now have moments which are soul suckingly awful as opposed to groin grabbingly awesome. I don't care what you have, what you look like, what you do, who you are - we are all faced with moments, hours, days, weeks that are just miserable. That feel like you're treading water or drowning or honestly, have already drowned. Aka, our wildly uncertain, gen-Y twenties.

But we get through it, don't we? We wake up to another day, begrudgingly put our pants on, and hope for the best. But sometimes I can't do that unassisted. More than anything, in the immortal words of McCartney/Lennon - I get by with a little help from my friends. And I love you all so much and thank you for, well, everything. BUT ALSO, there is a little thing I like to call the internet...perhaps you've heard of it? There are a few random things that just always make me laugh no matter what, and I'm going to attempt to share them below - if the video doesn't embed, you can blame George Mason University for allowing me to pass IT-103 with such embarrassing technological skills.

First off - a photo I discovered tonight while googling a SUPER EMO website for a dose of schadenfreude - true story, I googled "Dear Old Love" and THIS CAME UP:

IS THAT ANDY SAMBERG HIGH FIVING A LYNX? YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS. If for whatever reason you don't like this or get this, I cordially invite you to get out of my life.

UPDATE: I can't figure out how to embed video. So, links to youtube it is.

Did Steve tell you that perchance? Steeeeeve.

Two words: Grape. Lady. I know. I know, it's awful but it makes me laugh EVERY TIME I watch it.

Okay, so this is "seasonal" I guess, but I LOVE THE PUMPKIN DANCING MAN and his commitment to this dance.

Also, I am obsessed with music and generally things with a sick beat (yeah. I went there) put me in a better mood -

Notably:

Passion Pit, Moth's Wings

Passion Pit, Sleepyhead ( I will never get sick of this song. Ever.)

Ra Ra Riot: A Manner to Act

Broken Bells: The High Road

Florence + The Machine: Dog Days are Over

Florence + The Machine: Kiss With a Fist

Florence + The Machine: Rabbit Heart

Margot + The Nuclear So and So's: Paper Kitten Nightmare (note: not upbeat, but the chorus is just meow meow meow meow meow meow meow and that makes me laugh)

Cake: Nugget (HOLY SHIT I FORGOT HOW GOOD THIS SONG IS)

Beastie Boys: Paul Revere (now my name's MCA, I've got a license to kill. I think you know what time it is - it's time to get ill.)

The Beatles: Maxwell's Silver Hammer (I know it's about a guy murdering people with a hammer but it's so cheerful.)

The Beatles: Good Morning Good Morning

The Beatles: Your Mother Should Know (currently in competition for my favorite Beatles song - tough race between YMSK and I, Me, Mine)

You Make My Dreams: Hall and Oates (No, it's a guy..Holland Oates.)

The Decemberists: All of Her Majesty, The Decemberists. That whole cd. Actually, most of their catalogue puts me in a good mood.

Dirty Projectors: Two Doves

Fun: Be Calm

Gaslight Anthem: Casanova, Baby!

Hot Chip: Ready For the Floor

Lady Gaga: Bad Romance or Teeth

Matt and Kim: Daylight

Metric: Hustle Rose

Hey Mercedes: Bells

Modest Mouse: March Into The Sea

Modest Mouse: Fly Trapped In A Jar

Moe: Captain America

Queen: Don't Stop Me Now

Rush: Tom Sawyer

Toto: Africa

Spoon: The Way We Get By

Talking Heads: Psycho Killer (I don't know. I really don't. I just love this song.)

Tenacious D: Fuck Her Gently, Karate

Tom Petty: Wildflowers, Into The Great Wide Open

Wolfmother: Vagabond

xoxo.

favorite.

http://www.tenwordwiki.com/Billy_Joel

that's enough, internet

Okay. Chat Roulette.

WHAT THE FUCK, EVERYONE? How is this a thing? I feel like this one website encompasses everything I've been told not to do - specifically not talk to strangers and not to troll the internet on a web cam. EVER. I mean, don't get me wrong - I'm curious. It seems like an absolute shit show, but what is the point? What kind of life are you living if you are looking to this website for, I don't know, anything? Also, I'm fairly certain I'd be safer playing any kind of roulette, including russian. Because even if it IS a bullet, I still know there is no chance of the outcome being my watching a guy jerking off on his webcam. And I'd have a kick as "How did Carrie die?" story.

Just a sidenote, how did I first hear about this? The JERSEY SHORE cast. I now officially feel comfortable blaming all of society's woes on them. Does that mean I won't watch the second season? Of course not. Just like this post has no bearing on whether I actually do check out chat roulette in the future.

And with that, I will leave you with this: catroulette.tumbr. com

The First of MANY Posts of this Kind.

So, not a secret, my parents are ridiculous people. Amazing and I love them and could never ask for anything more, but just... absolutely ridiculous. The best stories I have generally involve e-mails or texts from my mom or pretty much anything my dad does. Ever. IE The Christmas Card Incident, in which we decided to go "casual" and he trots downstairs in a 3 piece suit. When my mom called him out, it was "WHAT? I LOOK NICE."

So yesterday I came back from a LONG weekend in Virginia to see my mom who just had surgery and is already back to being a total bad ass. I go to my room to change into sweats (aka my happy place) and see a t-shirt on the bed that I don't recognize. On further inspection, it's a vintage NY Yankees shirt, size medium. I was actually thrilled my dad picked out the right size t-shirt (UNLIKE THE JAYSON WERTH MEN'S JERSEY INCIDENT OF LAST CHRISTMAS) but was really confused as to why in hell he would get me a yankees shirt. I just figured someone gave it to him for free and he was going to give it to me.

So we're eating dinner (and by "dinner" I mean "frozen stuff that's been in our fridge for over a year" which resulted in my eating extremely questionable pizza) and I decided to ask my dad why/where he got me that shirt -

Me: Did you get me a yankees shirt?

Dad: Oh yeah, I did. Wait...what?

Me: There was a vintage looking yankees t-shirt on my bed, I figured you got it for free

Dad: OHHHHH that's mine.

Me: What?

Dad: Yeah that's my shirt, I don't know why it was in your room

Mom: I washed it and thought it was Carrie's

Dad: Why would you do that?

Me: It's a girls shirt, Dad

Dad: No, it's not

Mom: Bill...yes it is

Dad: NO IT ISN'T. YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW MY OWN SHIRTS?

Needless to say, my dad has been wearing a ladies medium t-shirt for the past several months. Comfortably.

(and for those of you who need a visual)

I will be showing him the gender of this model the next time I see him.

Happy Carrietines Day

I could sit here and pretend to be bitter or whatever but really, I don't get that. I like Valentine's Day. It makes people happy and someone usually gives me some form of candy. What's not to like? Although I did see a couple stroking each other while eating at Jones today and that just seemed unnecessary. But really, I like red, I like chocolate, and if people get flowers at the office, it gives me something nice to look at. So...why be bitter if you're not celebrating? We could all use a little more love in this world and I'll take any excuse for it. And for the exchange of chocolate.

guys, did you know it snowed?

If I never hear another snow related pun for the rest of my life, IT WILL BE TOO SOON. And now, without further ado - what I did with my snow days.

Tuesday Night

8 PM

Find out I have no work. Crack open a Sierra Nevada.

9 PM

Parents get in from Antigua 4 hours earlier than they told me they would. No one is surprised, and Dad is thrilled to see me drinking a giant beer with only the company of the dog.

10 PM

Am an old woman and am exhausted but feel I should stay up. Remedy? The Pregnancy Pact on Lifetime On Demand

10:05 PM

Decide the main character ginger girl is not NEARLY hot enough for her boyfriend and that Thora Birch has not aged a day since American Beauty

11 PM

Admit to myself that this is a good movie

11:01 PM

Fall asleep. To The Pregnancy Pact. Bathe in my own shame

3 AM

The dog decides to wake me up. By almost throwing up on my bed. This is off to a good start.

WEDNESDAY

11:45 AM

Drag myself out of bed. Make a mental promise to myself to not change out of sweatpants

11:47 AM

Wonder if it's too early for wine.

12 PM

Eat mac and cheese. And chinese food. As lunch.

12:10 PM

Really want some wine to go with said lunch

12:45 PM

Inform my mother that no, I will not be watching Love Happens with her

12:46 PM

Agree to watch The Good Wife instead. Fail.

1:45 PM

Figure out that 1/2 a season of Sex and The City is on demand. Commence marathon.

3 PM

Mom makes quesadillas. OPENS A BOTTLE OF WINE. Victory.

4:30 PM

Continue lifecoaching mom over wine

5 PM

Dad commandeers tv. To watch an episode of Smallville. Continues to be 57 years old.

5:05 PM

Make myself a cocktail, which causes Dad to say "You've been drinking an awful lot." It is my second drink in two hours. Add extra whiskey out of spite

6 PM

Totally drunk. Gchatting unabashedly. Still in sweatpants, and ghostbusters is on. WIN.

8:30 PM

More chinese food, watch What's Love Got To Do With It (The Ike and Tina Turner Story) with Mom. It is her favorite movie. I've made fun of that fact for YEARS but now that I've actually seen it...It is AWESOME.

10:30 PM

Retire to bed, as I have to work a half day on Thursday.

THURSDAY

9:30 AM

Wake up and get ready to go to the gym. Find out gym is closed, watch Regis and Kelly with Mom. Lowpoint of the day got here quicker than expected. Regis is way creepier than I remember him being.

10 AM

Log in and do some work, make mental note to dig out the car soon. It should only take 15 or 20 minutes

11:45 AM

Actually get around to digging out the car.

11:46 AM

Walk outside to find the car has been plowed in on all sides by the asshole plowmen who obviously have some sort of vendetta against me. Curse their names.

12 PM

Dig out most of it. Inner monologue is saying "You have four wheel drive. You can do this. Just back up, hit the gas, and get over it. YOU CAN DO THIS CARRIE."

12:00.01 PM

Get stuck

12:10 PM

Think you've got it this time. You dug and dug and moved the snow. Just reverse it and you're home free.

12:11 PM

Fall getting into the car. Surely this will be the last issue

12:12 PM

Still stuck. Decide to dig really hard under the car.

12:13 PM

Break the shovel in a fit of rage. Seriously. Totally broke it.

12:15 PM

After standing and staring at the car and thoroughly terrifying a neighbor child, throw the shovel at the car. Enlist mom's help

12:45 PM

Mom is some sort of shoveling angel. Still stuck, but starting to move a little bit. My uggs are now soaked through and I've fallen no less than 5 times.

1 PM

CAR IS FINALLY FREE. REJOICE. Aka get back to work for the remainder of the day.

So there you have it. The Pregnancy Pact, blackout rages, and booze. Feels like winter to me.

Well, this one will be all over the place.

So we're starting what's freshest in my mind and seeing where this takes me. Stay with me, will you? Excellent.

TOPIC ONE: THE SUPERBOWL.

The game was good, although admittedly, I felt like shit all day and turned it off in the third to watch Big Love. I have no vested interest in the Saints or Colts and wasn't feeling it. True Story. My main observations were that The Who sucked and that Drew Brees is MUCH better looking than I had ever noticed before. As far as the commercials go, I was WILDLY unimpressed. No more so than with the bullshit Tim Tebow ad. I've been hearing about this ad for MONTHS before the game and it was incredibly anti-climatic. Not that I wanted some awful pro-life throw dead babies in your face type ad, but basically what we got was 3 million spent on 30 seconds proclaiming that Tim Tebow's mommy loves him. I did enjoy the general theme of pantslessness in a few other commercials, as I have been anti-pant for awhile. And I liked the baby cow and baby horse being friends. Don't act like you're surprised. Otherwise, I didn't think anything was particularly funny or awesome or outstanding.

TOPIC TWO: The snowopocalypse or snowmaggedon or snOMG.

Over it. We get it. It snowed a lot. It doesn't need a nickname.

TOPIC THREE: The commerical I'm watching right now

It's for Subaru and the dogs parallel park and it's SO CUTE.

Okay, I really didn't have much to say. I'm also very tired and still trying to keep my liver from escaping my body. More updates from when I'm stuck inside the house for SNOWMAGGEDON 2: ELECTRIC SNOWALOO.

these are a few of my favorite things...

Anyone who knows me (which, at this point, should be all of you) knows that I have very definitive and ridiculous opinions on inane things. I VERY MUCH KNOW what I like and dislike and I have a favorite of everything. Really, everything. Melissa tested me on this at one point, and I do, in fact, have a favorite gas station. For those who are wondering, it's the BP on 202 that has the baskin robbins in it. So clean.

ANYWAY, I thought I'd share with you guys a few of my most favorite things. Like Oprah does, except I'm not giving you shit.

SONGS

-Moth's Wings by Passion Pit

-Dress Me Like A Clown by Margot and The Nuclear So and So's

-Can You Tell by Ra Ra Riot

-My Boy Builds Coffins by Florence + The Machine

TV SHOWS

-Mad Men. I know, I know, everyone watches/has heard of it/ whatever. But really. Just watch it. It's a slow burn all season and that's not for everyone but it is such a satisfying and unpredictable show to watch. If you like anything that's well done, well acted, well written, aesthetically pleasing, or all of the above - it's worth your time.

-Big Love. For whatever reason, it's like the only show I have issues following and sometimes I think they throw a little too much at you. But, it's four seasons in and it still has maintained a lot of integrity in keeping its protagonist inherently unlikable. It's so uncomfortable and interesting to watch.

-Better Off Ted. Getting cancelled. Way underrated. Ridiculous. In an Andy Richter Controls The Universe + Arrested D kind of way. AKA THE BEST WAY.

-How I Met Your Mother. The only show with a laugh track that I absolutely love. My crush on Jason Segel notwithstanding, it is a fantastic show.

-Friday Night Lights. Reasons to watch include Taylor Kitsch, Kyle Chandler, and engaging writing. They also had two characters kill a guy and the show didn't jump the shark. That's talent.

-Nurse Jackie. "Quiet and Mean. Those are my people."

MOVIES

Inglorious Basterds

Adventureland

500 Days of Summer

Pan's Labyrinth

(Okay, I know none of these are new. The last movie I saw that was new as Avatar and while I liked it visually, the plot was Pocahontas + Fern Gully. NO DICE)

BLOGS

gofugyourself.com

gawker.com

thisiswhyyourefat.com

slaughterhouse90210.tumblr.com

wwtdd.com

lamebook.com

warmingglow.uproxx.com

filmdrunk.uproxx.com

FOOD

all of it.

HAPPY TIME WASTING.

facebook memes, gtfo.

OKAY. My first real post will clearly be a rant.

Let's talk facebook memes.

Before I get into anything, I will start by acknowledging that facebook is fucking ridiculous from top to bottom. It makes everyone roughly 100x more annoying and punchable. It is systematically destroying all real relationships and making it entirely possible to know exactly what your third grade teacher's daughter is up to nowadays. BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IS IMPORTANT. But let's be serious - I love it, you love it, we all love it. You know, until it becomes sentient and kills us all.

Since it's inception, it's only become more and more irritating. Twitter helped, making facebook feel the need to jack their entire concept and give us the ever present status update - complete with its very own feed! So now I can see what you ate for breakfast and where you're going and what you're doing and THAT LOST IS PREMIERING TONIGHT ZOMG. Although, admittedly, I do get a vast percentage of my world news from facebook status updates. True story. Where was I going with this again? AH right. Memes.

So, the newest annoying little incarnation is changing your picture or status or picture and status or whatever for a week. There was throwback week, where people put up childhood pictures of themselves, which barely caught on. Then there was the breast cancer awareness bra color thing, which admittedly, I did participate in. Because I was wearing a cute bra that day. But now, we are on to the two most ridiculous of all: doppelganger week and this urban dictionary shit.

The urban dictionary meme is essentially putting your first name in urban dictionary, seeing the results, and putting them on your status. EVERYONE IS DOING THIS and they all say the same thing more or less. Something along the lines of:

1.	Carrie
	buy carrie mugs, tshirts and magnets hottest girl ever. always hard to get. sassy and classy at the same time. stunning eyes that draws you in. gorgeous and sexy. usually looks for independence and always good at everything. a dime piece, the realest bitch. never betrays her friends and always keeps her word.

This serves one purpose and one purpose alone: to validate yourself to your facebook friends using the trusted and indisputable internet source, URBAN DICTIONARY. You know, the website that is primarily used for people desperate to find the true definition for the word "taint". Never underestimate the amount of people desperate to be called dime pieces by websites written by high school kids.

However, the meme that inspired this all is, of course, DOPPELGANGER WEEK. Before I even get into the ridiculousness of some of these pictures, I'd like to let everyone know how alarmed I am that no one fucking knows what doppelganger means. Did anyone go to high school but me? Seriously. It's not a hard word. Jerome Shostak is rolling over in his grave.

Moving along, the idea of doppelganger week is to put up a facebook picture of your "celebrity twin." In all fairness, I've seen a few good ones. Maybe 10% of them are legit. The other 90%? No. Just...no. I want to personally message most of my friends and ask them WHO told them they looked like Drew Barrymore, because last time I checked, she didn't have a lazy eye. Moral of the story: Just because some drunk guy trying to take you home uses the line "YOU LOOK JUST LIKE BRITNEY SPEARS" doesn't mean you do. Brown hair and brown eyes do not an Anne Hathaway make. In the words of Eric, it's doppelganger week - not delusional week.

xoxo

happiness hit her like a bullet in the back.

Aaaand yet again I will try to blog. This is like the 6th attempt I've had at this and maybe this time it will stick! Frankly, I find my life very uninteresting and the interesting parts are pretty shocking, even for the internet. So, webz, here is how this will go: I will randomly post actual events, tales, etc. Mostly I will post song lyrics I don't want to forget. Eventually I will grow tired, never update it, and delete it. But for now, HELLO. Maybe I will regale you with stories soon.

xoxo