And We'll All Float On Okay.

A lot of bad things have been happening to a lot of people I love lately. And work has been especially stressful for me and I am a ball of nerves A WEEK BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY and that is just not acceptable. I don't know when it will get better, but I can say with great certainty that this, too, will pass. Anyway, all of this prattling is just getting at (DRUMROLL) another list of Carrie's favorite things !!! HOOOORAYYYYY I CAN FEEL YOUR EXCITEMENT!

Music:

Broken Bells. The entire self-titled album but especially Vaporize, The Ghost Inside, The High Road, and Citizen. Download it now.

Florence + The Machine (STILL!) I keep urging everyone to listen because I can't get enough of it. Current favorite is the song Howl. Also, it may be the first concert I attend solo, eek!

Technological Ish:

IF YOU HAVE AN IPHONE I'm going to need you to go ahead and download "Words with Friends" and play me. My user name is carriecam. It is scrabulous for your iphone and currently the only person who has beaten me is Melissa. So, wanna dance? BRING IT.

IF YOU HAVE TWITTER or subscribe to feeds:

whitegrlprobems. Enjoy.

Internet Hilarity:

Okay, first of all - if you haven't seen between two ferns, watch them all. The best ones, in my opinion, are Bradley Cooper and Jon Hamm. However, the new one is pretty fantastic - Ben Stiller, "star of Duplex". Enjoy:

Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: Ben Stiller from Between Two Ferns

Secondly - The Weird Al True Hollywood Story....Just...I love it more every time I watch it.

"Weird: The Al Yankovic Story" from Aaron Paul

...Did those embed? GOOD. Anyway, embedding is hard and there's too much copying and pasting so I'm going to suggest two hulu videos for your googling pleasure - they are both SNL monologues and I love them both. The first is Jon Hamm.. mostly for the line "They need to wash they ass." Also, because I want to be Carrie Hamm. Secondly - Zach Galifinakis. Everything he does is funny. GOOGLE THAT SHIT.

TV Shows:

Party Down

-Season 1 is on netflix and if you have netflix, watch it. It is wonderful and well acted and has Lizzie Caplan in it who I love and it's hilarious and I LOVE IT.

Miscellaneous:

PUPPIES, all of them. My bracket not really sucking THAT much more than anyone else's, my birthday coming up, spring, this weather, window open sleeping, chipotle, booze of all kinds, my bed, sweatpants, chick fil a, and the fact that Hot Tub Time Machine is a real movie.

Let's Get Political, Political

First thing's first - that was clearly to the tune of "Physical" by Olivia Newton-John and if you didn't recognize that, get off my blog.

Moving on...

Okay, I get that this healthcare thing is a big deal. This is going to affect everyone for better or worse and I can't say that there a tremendous amount of things that have happened in my life time that I've truly been able to say that about. But at the same time, maybe it's not quite time to panic or rejoice yet? So much remains to be seen and while in theory we can say that it will be this or it will be that, we have no idea. There are few things I hate more than people just leaping to absolute conclusions about anything when there's so much that remains to be seen. I am neither VERY EXCITED or VERY NEGATIVE about this - I think healthcare should not be a luxury but I also think that we need to figure out how exactly we're paying for this when medicare is totally bankrupt. Also, when they tried to mandate healthcare in MA it cost a zillion more dollars than they thought. So, there's that. But REALLY guys, we don't know. You can't compare socialized healthcare here to Canada or Europe because it's just not apples to apples. What you can do? Just wait and see how it's going to turn out.

And on a related note to everyone on the entire fucking internet: KEEP YOUR POLITICAL VIEWS OFF MY GODDAMN NEWSFEED. You are not changing anyone's opinion, you are just making yourself look like a jackass. And irritating me. So quit it.

Okay, the end. I promise more posts about ridiculous drunken times/internet memes in the future as a reward for slogging through my rants. xoxo.

what's that bracket?

Well, it's that time of year again. To be fair, I got into college basketball when I was in college as an excuse to day drink for all of March. But since then, it has become something I legitimately enjoy watching and I take basically every opportunity to make a bracket that I can. I would also like to take this time to note that none of my brackets have ever won and that inviting me into your pool is the equivalent of asking "hey can I just have that ten dollars?" AND I WILL ALWAYS SAY YES.

On another note, another reason I love March Madness so much is because of my alma mater's final four run in 2006. It was the most awesome thing just EVER to turn on ESPN any given day and see the Patriot Center or see Lamar Butler on the cover of Sports Illustrated. Also, I was interviewed by four separate news stations across the country. FOUR. One time at 5 am when I had been drinking grey goose and cranberries (classy!) for three hours out of a nalgene whilst camping out for tickets to Indianapolis for the Final Four. I was beat red and wearing a wife beater, baseball hat, and sweatpants. And they still put me on the news. I hope that producer got fired. It's true, being a student of a Cinderella school has its perks, but it also has its negatives too. So for all you Cinderellas out there hoping to break my bracket (I'm looking at you, Muarry State), here are a few tips for when the local news comes a'callin, and how to enjoy the ride.

1. Pray you have a famous alumni worth mentioning.
In every single article written about Mason in 2006, no famous alumni were mentioned. And why is that? We have one notable alumni: Karl Rove.

2. If your University president is a troll, have someone else get in the pictures with the team.
We have the single most unattractive University President EVER to be committed to print photography. Yeah. Sleep easy tonight, guys. Also fun sidenote: I literally pulled him out of the mens room at the UConn game in 2006 to take a picture with me.

3. Get ready for the same three facts about your school to be repeated and often mutated in the press.
George Mason was a Virginia Statesmen. GMU is located in Fairfax, VA. It is the largest state school in Virginia. Yeah, newspapers. That was all well and good. But dig a little deeper. Did you know George Mason had gout? You sure didn't, because the Wichita Times didn't feel like doing their homework.

4. Getting as drunk as you can at every possible event will not preclude you from being on the news.
See above.

5. Be prepared for every Joe Jackass on the planet to come up to you and say "YOU TOTALLY RUINED MY BRACKET" for the next 11 months.
No sir, I didn't. I watched the games and cheered. Call Coach L for that ten dollars back.

6. The fans of the schools you are upsetting will be ASSHOLES.
But nothing feels better than rubbing it in their faces - my personal favorite was our "WHERE'S MY LAPTOP?!" cheer for UConn. Second was BILLY PACKER. Get drunk, yell, and really rub salt in their wounds. 4 years later and I still feel superior to every UConn fan I see.

7. Parlay the sudden interest in your school for free drinks at every major tournament.
I didn't pay for a thing at The Final Four. It was also my birthday, I was also turning 22, and I am blonde and little - but I choose to believe that it was everyone's general love for the scrappy little guy who tried their best that got me those miller lites that caused me to vomit under the table after we had lost to Florida.

8. Shirk ALL responsibilities to go to all the events you can.
Hands down, that was one of the best experiences of my life. You can retake a class but you cannot relieve an #11 seed victory over a #1 seed team. Also, if you go to any school other than possibly Cornell, your teachers will totally understand. Again, if you're a 22 year old blonde girl, it helps.

Enjoy it, college students. I'll be celebrating this wonderful month by again drinking like I am one of you.

dressing room etiquette

So, trying on dresses is a horrible experience for me to begin with. I'm incredibly picky about clothes and have very specific tastes. I don't appreciate or really trust anyone's opinion outside my mothers. Otherwise, unless I ask you - leave me alone.

This brings us to me in Black&White last night. I love this store, love the clothes, and know my size, what fits, what cuts look good on me, etc. So I mostly don't need your help. IF you want to hang my clothes on a dressing room door, fine, but our relationship ends there. I did not need a middle aged sales lady disagreeing with me when I said I can't wear strapless dresses. DO YOU THINK I DON'T LIKE STRAPLESS DRESSES, lady? Of course I do. They're adorable. But I tend to look like a total porn star in them and that really isn't the look I'm going for when attending a wedding at the Omni. I mean sure, I CAN wear them. They physically won't burst into flames when they touch my body, so you were correct there. But I also CAN wear cowboy boots and rebel flag bikinis but you don't see me doing that, do you? Okay. Let's move on.

Beyond the strapless dress she shoved down my throat, she also had the charming habit of asking me if I was okay in the dressing room. What could POSSIBLY be wrong in the dressing room that I would need your assitance with? NO I'M NOT OKAY HOW DO I UNZIP THIS ZIPPER? No. I'm almost 26. I have a solid 23 years of experience putting on and taking pants off. I'VE GOT THIS, LADY.

AND when I finally came out of dressing room, she emphatically told me that the kind of bra I was wearing was wrong for the dress. Reallly?? I shouldn't be wearing a white racer back bra with a black halter backless cocktail dress? WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?


Needless to say, I did not come home with a dress.

cameron's work out plan

SO, I would like to thank my seven (?) readers because you guys inspired me to go to the gym. I promised to send an e-mail or do a post with good music to run to. So at the nail salon today (priorities!), I was thinking of the random songs I like to run to and listen to when slaving away in my own personal hell, the gym. While doing so, I managed to talk myself out of the gym and into chipotle because I DESERVE IT. I thought when I got home I could read some Jen Lancaster and update my bloggy with workout songs. And THEN I started to feel guilty - why am I advising other people what to listen to while running when I run like once a week? So, thank you for making me feel like a hypocrite and forcing me to get my ass in gear. A special thanks also goes out to the gorgeous man who got onto the elliptical next to me, because you encouraged me to go an extra ten minutes. You know, to impress you. Because you clearly got on the open machine next to the sweating, red faced girl in spandex because you were trying to make a move.

ANYWAY, workout songs. Some with justification because they're ridic and handily divided into genres.

Cheesy yet awesome pop:

(Spoiler alert! Tons of Gaga and Britney ahead.)

Britney - 3

Britney - I'm A Slave 4 U

Britney/Madonna - Me Against The Music

Britney - Lace and Leather

Britney - Circus

Britney - Womanizer

Britney - If U Seek Amy

Miley Cyrus - Party In The USA

Miley Cyrus - 7 Things

Justin Timberlake - Sexyback

Justin Timberlake - Lovestoned

Taylor Swift - Forever & Always

The Veronicas - Untouched

Katy Perry - Waking Up In Vegas

Lady Gaga - Teeth

Laday Gaga - Bad Romance

Lady Gaga - Poker Face

Lady Gaga ft. Beyonce - Telephone

Lady Gaga - Monster

Lady Gaga - Dance In The Dark

Fergie - Fergalicious

Christina Aguilera - Dirrty

Eric Prydz - Call On Me

Kesha (I REFUSE TO SPELL HER NAME WITH A $) - Tik Tok

Rap/HipHop (hiphopopotamus?)

Kanye - New Workout Plan

Kanye - Stronger

Kanye - Jesus Walks

Kanye - Gold Digger

Kanye - Love Lockdown

Estelle/Kanye - American Boy

Twista/Kanye - Overnight Celebrity

Ludacris - Southern Hospitality

Ludacris - What's Your Fantasy

Ludacris - You's a Ho

Ludacris - Phat Rabbit

Outkast - Bombs Over Baghdad (Straight up the best song to run to, ever.)

Jay-Z/DJ Dangermouse (the grey album - all my Jay-Z is from this) - Change Clothes

Jay-Z - 99 Problems

Jay-Z - Empire State of Mind (I want to hate this song because of the goddamn yankees but I can't.)

Clipse - When's The Last Time

Clipse - Grindin

Jay-Z - Encore

Dr. Dre/Snoop - The Next Episode (the only song I can truly rap from start to finish)

Biggie - Party and Bullshit

Indie-ish whatchamacallit

The Faint - Worked Up So Sexual

The Faint - Southern Bells In London

Passion Pit - Better Things

Passion Pit - Sleepyhead

Passion Pit - Moth's Wings

Hot Chip - Ready For The Floor

Phoenix - 1901

Ra Ra Riot - Manner To Act

Ra Ra Riot - St. Peter's Day Festival

Florence + The Machine - Howl

Florence + The Machine - Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up)

Florence + The Machine - Kiss With A Fist

Florence + The Machine - Hurricane Drunk

Brand New - Sic Transit Gloria

Coheed & Cambria - Everything Evil

Coheed & Cambria - Devil In Jersey City

Metric - Hustle Rose

Q and Not U - Soft Pyramids

Ra Ra Riot - Too Too Fast

Wolfmother - Vagabond

shameless self promotion.

Okay, first thing to get out of the way: RIP Corey Haim. You have a special place in the friendship of Chelsea and me, and Lucas is one of my all time favorite movies. Also, now we can never really go as the Corey's for halloween without it being super sad.

NOW, onto other matters -

My birthday is April 3rd. A Joan Holloway barbie doll is coming out shortly. Anyone who has met met knows there are two women I love more than life, and they are Joan Holloway and Barbie.

PLAN ACCORDINGLY.

pick me ups.

So, real talk: we're adults now. And it sort of sucks. I mean sure, I can (and TOTALLY DID) eat ice cream for dinner, stay up AS LATE AS I WANT, and generally do what I want. And that rules. But our lives now have moments which are soul suckingly awful as opposed to groin grabbingly awesome. I don't care what you have, what you look like, what you do, who you are - we are all faced with moments, hours, days, weeks that are just miserable. That feel like you're treading water or drowning or honestly, have already drowned. Aka, our wildly uncertain, gen-Y twenties.

But we get through it, don't we? We wake up to another day, begrudgingly put our pants on, and hope for the best. But sometimes I can't do that unassisted. More than anything, in the immortal words of McCartney/Lennon - I get by with a little help from my friends. And I love you all so much and thank you for, well, everything. BUT ALSO, there is a little thing I like to call the internet...perhaps you've heard of it? There are a few random things that just always make me laugh no matter what, and I'm going to attempt to share them below - if the video doesn't embed, you can blame George Mason University for allowing me to pass IT-103 with such embarrassing technological skills.

First off - a photo I discovered tonight while googling a SUPER EMO website for a dose of schadenfreude - true story, I googled "Dear Old Love" and THIS CAME UP:

IS THAT ANDY SAMBERG HIGH FIVING A LYNX? YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT IT IS. If for whatever reason you don't like this or get this, I cordially invite you to get out of my life.

UPDATE: I can't figure out how to embed video. So, links to youtube it is.

Did Steve tell you that perchance? Steeeeeve.

Two words: Grape. Lady. I know. I know, it's awful but it makes me laugh EVERY TIME I watch it.

Okay, so this is "seasonal" I guess, but I LOVE THE PUMPKIN DANCING MAN and his commitment to this dance.

Also, I am obsessed with music and generally things with a sick beat (yeah. I went there) put me in a better mood -

Notably:

Passion Pit, Moth's Wings

Passion Pit, Sleepyhead ( I will never get sick of this song. Ever.)

Ra Ra Riot: A Manner to Act

Broken Bells: The High Road

Florence + The Machine: Dog Days are Over

Florence + The Machine: Kiss With a Fist

Florence + The Machine: Rabbit Heart

Margot + The Nuclear So and So's: Paper Kitten Nightmare (note: not upbeat, but the chorus is just meow meow meow meow meow meow meow and that makes me laugh)

Cake: Nugget (HOLY SHIT I FORGOT HOW GOOD THIS SONG IS)

Beastie Boys: Paul Revere (now my name's MCA, I've got a license to kill. I think you know what time it is - it's time to get ill.)

The Beatles: Maxwell's Silver Hammer (I know it's about a guy murdering people with a hammer but it's so cheerful.)

The Beatles: Good Morning Good Morning

The Beatles: Your Mother Should Know (currently in competition for my favorite Beatles song - tough race between YMSK and I, Me, Mine)

You Make My Dreams: Hall and Oates (No, it's a guy..Holland Oates.)

The Decemberists: All of Her Majesty, The Decemberists. That whole cd. Actually, most of their catalogue puts me in a good mood.

Dirty Projectors: Two Doves

Fun: Be Calm

Gaslight Anthem: Casanova, Baby!

Hot Chip: Ready For the Floor

Lady Gaga: Bad Romance or Teeth

Matt and Kim: Daylight

Metric: Hustle Rose

Hey Mercedes: Bells

Modest Mouse: March Into The Sea

Modest Mouse: Fly Trapped In A Jar

Moe: Captain America

Queen: Don't Stop Me Now

Rush: Tom Sawyer

Toto: Africa

Spoon: The Way We Get By

Talking Heads: Psycho Killer (I don't know. I really don't. I just love this song.)

Tenacious D: Fuck Her Gently, Karate

Tom Petty: Wildflowers, Into The Great Wide Open

Wolfmother: Vagabond

xoxo.

favorite.

http://www.tenwordwiki.com/Billy_Joel