dressing room etiquette

So, trying on dresses is a horrible experience for me to begin with. I'm incredibly picky about clothes and have very specific tastes. I don't appreciate or really trust anyone's opinion outside my mothers. Otherwise, unless I ask you - leave me alone.

This brings us to me in Black&White last night. I love this store, love the clothes, and know my size, what fits, what cuts look good on me, etc. So I mostly don't need your help. IF you want to hang my clothes on a dressing room door, fine, but our relationship ends there. I did not need a middle aged sales lady disagreeing with me when I said I can't wear strapless dresses. DO YOU THINK I DON'T LIKE STRAPLESS DRESSES, lady? Of course I do. They're adorable. But I tend to look like a total porn star in them and that really isn't the look I'm going for when attending a wedding at the Omni. I mean sure, I CAN wear them. They physically won't burst into flames when they touch my body, so you were correct there. But I also CAN wear cowboy boots and rebel flag bikinis but you don't see me doing that, do you? Okay. Let's move on.

Beyond the strapless dress she shoved down my throat, she also had the charming habit of asking me if I was okay in the dressing room. What could POSSIBLY be wrong in the dressing room that I would need your assitance with? NO I'M NOT OKAY HOW DO I UNZIP THIS ZIPPER? No. I'm almost 26. I have a solid 23 years of experience putting on and taking pants off. I'VE GOT THIS, LADY.

AND when I finally came out of dressing room, she emphatically told me that the kind of bra I was wearing was wrong for the dress. Reallly?? I shouldn't be wearing a white racer back bra with a black halter backless cocktail dress? WHAT WOULD I DO WITHOUT YOU?


Needless to say, I did not come home with a dress.