Tuesday Night
8 PM
Find out I have no work. Crack open a Sierra Nevada.
9 PM
Parents get in from Antigua 4 hours earlier than they told me they would. No one is surprised, and Dad is thrilled to see me drinking a giant beer with only the company of the dog.
10 PM
Am an old woman and am exhausted but feel I should stay up. Remedy? The Pregnancy Pact on Lifetime On Demand
10:05 PM
Decide the main character ginger girl is not NEARLY hot enough for her boyfriend and that Thora Birch has not aged a day since American Beauty
11 PM
Admit to myself that this is a good movie
11:01 PM
Fall asleep. To The Pregnancy Pact. Bathe in my own shame
3 AM
The dog decides to wake me up. By almost throwing up on my bed. This is off to a good start.
WEDNESDAY
11:45 AM
Drag myself out of bed. Make a mental promise to myself to not change out of sweatpants
11:47 AM
Wonder if it's too early for wine.
12 PM
Eat mac and cheese. And chinese food. As lunch.
12:10 PM
Really want some wine to go with said lunch
12:45 PM
Inform my mother that no, I will not be watching Love Happens with her
12:46 PM
Agree to watch The Good Wife instead. Fail.
1:45 PM
Figure out that 1/2 a season of Sex and The City is on demand. Commence marathon.
3 PM
Mom makes quesadillas. OPENS A BOTTLE OF WINE. Victory.
4:30 PM
Continue lifecoaching mom over wine
5 PM
Dad commandeers tv. To watch an episode of Smallville. Continues to be 57 years old.
5:05 PM
Make myself a cocktail, which causes Dad to say "You've been drinking an awful lot." It is my second drink in two hours. Add extra whiskey out of spite
6 PM
Totally drunk. Gchatting unabashedly. Still in sweatpants, and ghostbusters is on. WIN.
8:30 PM
More chinese food, watch What's Love Got To Do With It (The Ike and Tina Turner Story) with Mom. It is her favorite movie. I've made fun of that fact for YEARS but now that I've actually seen it...It is AWESOME.
10:30 PM
Retire to bed, as I have to work a half day on Thursday.
THURSDAY
9:30 AM
Wake up and get ready to go to the gym. Find out gym is closed, watch Regis and Kelly with Mom. Lowpoint of the day got here quicker than expected. Regis is way creepier than I remember him being.
10 AM
Log in and do some work, make mental note to dig out the car soon. It should only take 15 or 20 minutes
11:45 AM
Actually get around to digging out the car.
11:46 AM
Walk outside to find the car has been plowed in on all sides by the asshole plowmen who obviously have some sort of vendetta against me. Curse their names.
12 PM
Dig out most of it. Inner monologue is saying "You have four wheel drive. You can do this. Just back up, hit the gas, and get over it. YOU CAN DO THIS CARRIE."
12:00.01 PM
Get stuck
12:10 PM
Think you've got it this time. You dug and dug and moved the snow. Just reverse it and you're home free.
12:11 PM
Fall getting into the car. Surely this will be the last issue
12:12 PM
Still stuck. Decide to dig really hard under the car.
12:13 PM
Break the shovel in a fit of rage. Seriously. Totally broke it.
12:15 PM
After standing and staring at the car and thoroughly terrifying a neighbor child, throw the shovel at the car. Enlist mom's help
12:45 PM
Mom is some sort of shoveling angel. Still stuck, but starting to move a little bit. My uggs are now soaked through and I've fallen no less than 5 times.
1 PM
CAR IS FINALLY FREE. REJOICE. Aka get back to work for the remainder of the day.
So there you have it. The Pregnancy Pact, blackout rages, and booze. Feels like winter to me.
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